#4

Bombing at an open mic

♫ “Geese - Taxes" 

Public humiliation ranks pretty highly among people’s fears. If it’s your worst fear - it is essentially death. I love the range of a comedian’s results. They either kill or die. The stakes are mortal. About 2 years ago I had a goal to get up and do stand up for 5 mins. I let the first year pass. There are many reasons not to do it. But one reason that rules the others – fear. This year, I was putting it off again. A mate of mine (Lennie) performs at an open mic where everyone does 2 songs each. He said singing was easier than comedy. I was convinced. I can play guitar at a lower-intermediate level, and I have written a good few tunes. I rarely play them in front of people. But I had a played for Lennie and he suggested I go to the open mic with him and play what I had. I was relaxed leading up to the night. Until about an hour before.

Before I went on I tried to enjoy the other acts, some of which were excellent. Some not so great. Good for me. I played out multiple scenarios in my head. One was – what if I play really well and the sound is bad and everyone is talking and no one listens – wouldn’t that be terrible?

Well I’ll tell you what’s worse. Getting everyone’s attention with a short preamble, the sound being stellar, and my guitar playing skills evaporating as I missed the first chord. This scenario actually hadn’t crossed my mind. I had practiced guitar (I thought enough). I am not a great singer, and I could have easily forgotten the lyrics. But fear has a way unmanning you from your blindside. I completely bombed. The room was silent but encouraging. Patient. I felt every second as I repeatedly tried to find the first few notes. The humour of it wasn’t lost on me though. I changed guitar. Made a joke. Won the crowd over briefly. And then played through the first song with a forgotten verse or two and a dry mouth. It was over. I had a second song to sing and by now all scenarios were out the window. I would be delighted to get the next song out, look straight ahead, say thanks and disappear.

So I did that. No affirmations. No glory. Just a raw experience and a bolt of adrenaline. My friends welcomed me back to my seat smiling and laughing. Equal parts proud and embarrassed for me. I didn’t steal the show, I didn’t take much. I provided some colour to that evenings open mic. I was the guy that bombed.